Andrew, a staunch atheist, after passing away, came to a place with heavenly appearance, as a kind of living room amidst white clouds, where a man, dressed in white with a long beard of the same color, was sitting behind a large mahogany desk with a card holder that read “God”.
Andrew thought, Dammit, I was wrong, God exists … Yammer, I guess I’m really screwed now…!
“Welcome Andrew. This is your Judgment Day.”
“Hmpf … Yes … I thought so … by the way, I didn’t know you exist … I assume I’m doomed … aren’t I?”
“Yes, I exist, but why do you assume you are doomed?”
“Well … I guess ‘cause not believing in you. And not only that … lol, also discussed a lot about your inexistence with many believers. I had hundreds of arguments against you … and I also must admit that I convinced some to stop believing in you and leave their religions and churches.”
“Hmm … And what makes you think that because you don’t believe, I will condemn you?”
“Doh … well … that’s what everyone said, the Bible also says that those who don’t believe in you will go to Hell.”
“Look Andrew, you know very well that the Bible is not my word, aside from being a book with hundreds of thousands of errors. If you know that, just being a mortal, much better I know it being omniscient. You fought all your life to prevent this book of further harming the minds of those who believe in me. And so you avoided much suffering to many people by showing them what is false and wrong on that book they call the Bible. That I can’t consider it as a sin … rather it’s a virtue.”
“Then … you don’t think so bad that I’ve reneged of you?”
“Why would it seem wrong that a person uses reason to deny something? I admit that chances of my existence were minimal. You just used the reasoning ability that I gave you, your intelligence, to prove your thoughts were true. On the contrary, I must congratulate you for putting your reasoned sense and logic ahead of blind faith, which I hate.”
“Are you insinuating that I won’t go to Hell?”
“Not only that … I must reward your integrity. Also, thanks to you, reason expanded to many people, and I appreciate that. You kept many people from committing atrocities in my name. The truth is that you deserve paradise even more than any believer, since the good works you did were by your own will and your genuine concern for others, and not because I or a book ordered it to you. That’s temperance.”
“So may I go to Heaven?
“Be sure I’d never condemn someone for reasoning. Please come in. Be welcome.
Who would have said it … Wow! Andrew thought while going up.
Cecil, a fervent believer who also just died, was waiting outside until invited to enter the room.
Wasn’t good I died praising God? Cecil thought, cometh at last the coveted paradise I’ve prepared myself the whole life … but, looking up, isn’t that one, going up to Heaven, Andrew, the atheist?
“Welcome Cecil. You are in the Final Judgment.” said God.
“Greetings my God … sorry to ask you but … isn’t Andrew this one going up the caracole?”
“He’s indeed Andrew.”
“But … Andrew is an atheist, why do you let him up, he should be frying in Hell!”
“Why shouldn’t I let him enter Heaven? I know Andrew, he is very good person.”
“Wait a minute God, forgive me … but the Bible says …”
“No! You wait just a minute! Andrew showed you many times that the Bible had hundreds of errors, distortions, contradictions, and inconsistencies. And do not lie to me, Cecil, remember that I know everything, and I know that deep down you knew what Andrew was saying about the Bible was true. Do you really think that book represents me?”
“Well yes, some biblical passages even seemed to me somehow contradictory … but the thing is I was defending you.”
“Do you really think I need to be defended?”
“Ehhh … well, eek …”
“Let’s start your Judgment.”
“Ok, okay … how do I go up …?”
“Wait, wait … what makes you think you deserve Heaven?”
“But God … don’t come now with …”
“I can see you were quite irrational, unwise, with very little reasoned sense. Okay, I admit that you did some good things, but only for fear of my punishment, and fear of going to the Hell. That doesn’t seem very commendable.”
“Ehhh … well …”
“You were also very sectarian, you discriminate people for their beliefs. And, of course, you made hundreds of thousands of rituals and prayers that don’t please me.”
“But God … the Bible says…”
“Do not put the Bible as an excuse! You and I know well that book doesn’t represent me.”
“But God …!”
“Nothing … you have no excuses! You should know very well that I am all perfection. And as a perfect being I praise reason and intelligence. If at least you had believed in me by reasoned and logical arguments … But you always seek refuge in that blind faith that I hate.”
“So … what would happen to me?” sobbing.
“I don’t see how to forgive you Cecil, with your way of thinking and your actions you did much evil, and filled those surrounding you with this perverse doctrine they fabricate in the Earth over me. You refused to use reason and logic and superseded them with faith and meaningless dogmas. I can not forgive you … you know what to expect, and I’m really sorry Cecil, because I wanted you in Heaven.”
“So … I’m going to … to …”
“Yes. You have to go there. I regret this result. Please leave.”
Cecil leaves the room crestfallen and heartbroken.
Later on, during a coffee break, St. Peter meets God.
“Much work today my Lord?”
“You can’t imagine! Too many “believers” of the type Bible, Bible! … just blind followers of a faith without reasoning. I should condemn them all without even trial … I know all their excuses.”
“I know Lord … I was also human. That is very common.”
“Sometimes I don’t understand why they don’t use the brain that I gave them to reason? What a waste of gray matter! Sure, it’s easy and convenient to follow an old book than thinking.”
“Indeed my Lord. By the way, they almost shit the pants believing they were going to Hell … hahahaha!!”
“See what I’m telling Peter? It’s amazing they know I am all love and all perfection, but still believe that I will send them to a place of eternal suffering. Who do they think I am?”
“That’s it my lord.”
“Well Peter, let’s go work! We don’t have all day …”
Atheist Vs Believer – Dugutigui on a tale from the Net
Happy new 2014 to all of you!!