of women … and men – (en)

of women … and men

Two women encounter on the street …
– Mary! How you doing darling? I didn’t recognize you … with that so wonderful hairstyle you’ve gotten …
– Oh, Lauryn dear. I just come from the saloon. Isn’t that Adolfo an artist?
– Hey … are that streaks … or is your natural blond hair?
– Highlights, silly.
– Well … you look divine. Your husband will eat you as soon he’s seeing you … he doesn’t deserve a woman like you.
– Don’t be silly … you’re always so beautiful. Dear, you’ve always got so much class … Hey! But what a cool bag! A present from your Julian?
– Nah! He gives me nothing. All day round watching football and drinking beer with his buddies …
– Oh, that can’t be. You should tell him to pamper you more … or you’ll give a chance to a young co-worker … they should be dying for you.
– Oh, you are so sweet … don’t say that … Well, darling, we need to meet sometime, do some shopping, a coffee … we have to speak of so many things.
– Of course, darling. I’ll call you next week by all means.
– Great honey. I won’t say you to take care because if you care more you’re going to outshine the rest of us. You are divine.
They give each other two kisses and a hug and separate.
First Woman Thinking
Come on, what she has done to her hair … freaking bitch … a fucking eyesore! I don’t get how her husband is still married to her … and he is so handsome … stupid asshole …  some are born lucky. And her cheap perfume reeks … funky ass bitch. She won’t even get raped at a slammer. Always a coyote ugly, and so gaudy … that’s what bothers me most!
Thoughts Of The Second Woman

It’s been bad luck to encounter this cunt, I really hate her ass. She’s is obnoxious … and still exceeding … the skid. Uglier than ever. And that ridiculous bag! What a fucking shoes … and what a fucking … everything! Who knows in which flea market she buys the clothes, sonofabitch, thinking she’s still in her twenties, and making a fool of herself all the way down the street. Bitch!
Meanwhile, In Other Part Of The City, Two Men Meet …
– Damn! Look at this… Peter dickhead!
– What’s up, asshole!
– Not much, as usual … every time I see you you’re balder. Why don’t you get a fucking toupee, and stop the freak show down the street with that billiard ball that looks like a landing strip for UFOs!
– Because I prefer to crop the pussy of your mom and make a fucking wig that I will look like a rock star with. The downside will be the smelling, you can’t imagine how ugly her pussy stinks.
– That reminds me your wife. Every time we go bonk I’ve got to scrub my dick with DDT.
– The pack will last long, cuz your golf widow told me that your tail is shorter than the one of the little brother of the Rice Brothers.
– My missus has no fucking clue, motherfucker. That’s why she was your girlfriend until she got to know my trip hammer.
– That was a great present, asshole … I shook off that fucking floozy … in high school she was even screwing with the chess team.
– Well, scumbag, I’m leaving. See you another moment.
– I may see you first, sucker. Go fuck yourself!
– And you to see it, bugger!
Taps on the shoulder are given, and they part ways.
Thought Of The First Man:
Damn, long time no see Tony. Wata fucking nice guy I gotta say. Still a fucking kid, the sucker. I gotta call him next week. Man, I hate to lose touch with guys like this.
Thought Of The Second Man:
This bastard Peter, always a pukka guy. Laughing my ass off with him. If not in a hurry I had taken him for some brewskis. Tuesday or Wednesday I’ll call him, and also Bob, long time since we got together, and we three will spend a fucking great afternoon.
Of women … and men – Dugutigui

About Dugutigui

In the “Diula” language in Mali, the term « dugutigui » (chief of the village), literally translated, means: «owner of the village»; «dugu» means village and «tigui», owner. Probably the term is the result of the contraction of «dugu kuntigui» (literally: chief of the village).
This entry was posted in English, Humor, Politically Incorrect Language and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to of women … and men – (en)

  1. So true! PS that picture of the two women is CLASSIC, captures the dynamic perfectly.

  2. Sandee says:

    Yes, I’m ‘liking’ and it’s politically incorrect — hahaha! Yeah, and it’s true.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Thanks for being a fan. Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing. I’ll wipe a booger on your wall, not only to say I was here, but also to say: thanks for your comment. 

      • Sandee says:

        Yay! Your posts are refreshing, Dugutigui!

      • Dugutigui says:

        Yeah! I’m ballin-outta-control. Shaking dat asshats -don’t go on a date with ‘em. That beat is uber-hot here. Summertime good time for refreshing wanksta -wanna-be gangsta language.

        OK. Enough!
        Sandee thanks a lot for your comment!

    • Dugutigui says:

      There are many unspeakable words, forgotten, or forbidden. Great thanks to the poets who make them all become reachable.

  3. ane says:

    My nomination for interesting topics. A Three Bouquet Awards. http://viataoperadearta.wordpress.com/2013/07/05/din-sevaletul-vietii/

  4. El Guapo says:

    Looking forward to the conversation and thoughts of one of those guys meeting one of those women…

  5. Oh wow… 🙂 “The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.” That is an awesome quote, D. 🙂
    You got very correctly the way women talk . No idea if the men are really thinking that, but often with women things are like this. Unfortunately.
    Great post :).

    • Dugutigui says:

      Shigeru Miyamoto used to say that a delayed game could be eventually good, a bad game is bad forever. It’s a vain excuse for this long due reply. It’s the imperfections that make things beautiful. Thanks a lot for your opinion!

      • Who talked of imperfections? 🙂
        I am happy to hear your answers whenever they come, early or late. And I hope this dialogue is never a bad one…
        Actually this quote inspires me to write something. 🙂
        Have a great day D.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Dialogue is very important. It is a form of communication in which question and answer continue till a question is left without an answer. Thus the question is suspended between the two persons involved in this answer and question. It is like a bud with untouched blossoms. If the question is left totally untouched by thought, it then has its own answer because the questioner and answerer, as persons, have disappeared. This is a form of dialogue in which investigation reaches a certain point of intensity and depth, which then has a quality that thought can never reach.. Thanks a lot for your acomment and a great day/life!

      • Did you see my first post from today? It is a quote from you. 🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        Yes I did 🙂

      • Now getting back to what you said, you are a strong extremely intelligent loving man, and you only need to save yourself from yourself. 😀
        PS: and getting back to your last post, if she is afraid to love you she doesn’t know what love is. It is the opposite of fear. 😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        Thanks, but it’s just literature.
        In fact last night I was outside dinning with my children, and later looking at “As good as it gets” for third time 🙂 Normal life…
        Thanks in any case!

      • Normal life beats any movie. 😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        That’s true, and it’s also inspiring 🙂

      • I’m always happy to talk to you about life, to fight with you like a maniac and to dig deep in the reality. 🙂
        Would you be interested to write a duet post with a crazy woman like me? 😀

      • 😀 You choose the subject.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Could be funny… I’ll want to go to a Japanese, and you’ll want to go to a Greek. In the end we’ll settle for wieners and clams at John Hermaphrodite’s. And our lectors stalling between two fools. You better choose the subject 🙂

      • 🙂 Write about food? I guess I can write about anything.
        Let’s see, how about “10 things you can finally do after you get divorced”? 🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        I like the second subject, I am an expert in the field 🙂 🙂
        Put it this way: you write 10 things you think would make a person after divorce and I write about 10 they should not do …

      • OK, you’ve got a deal. I’ll write you my part in a comment tomorrow, and after I get your part of the post I’ll post them together. 🙂
        Have a great evening and a good night D. 🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        I’m quite busy lately, so let’s have a week to finish this endeavour. For example tomorrow is impossible for me. I will send you by email my part when ready and take from there. All the best!

      • Dugutigui says:

        OK this is my draft:

        My share of this joint post is aimed to the people that had never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.

        Railing about nothing. Getting pissed-off over anything and everything. Day by day, year by year, grinding. Goading. Endless goading. It became a cheap contest. And once you got into it, it became habitual. You couldn’t seem to get out. You almost didn’t want to get out. And then you did get out. All the way. Your partner has thrown a plastic bag with some underwear and the toothbrush and put you on the street. Is it your fault, his/her or the government? Doesn’t matter! Nothing really wrong! Hell, you’d even failed with your partner. The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is getting married, itself. I’ve read studies. It’s like 2 out of 3 of those end in divorce, sometimes more. 3 out of 2, some. OK. The fact is that you return to live alone. Or with your mother. You got all the freedom, but curiously your morale is at rock bottom. You have back your freedom, and you don’t want it. Your new status:


        So now what?

        I’m not going to advice you on what to do after you face the inevitable question: is there life after divorce? No, I’m not. My only advice for a person who’s just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, flap your arms…faster. I’d rather share some (ten) ideas about what not to do…

        1. Always remember never to use two words: always and never.
        2. Married or merry? Single people either get boring, or they stay divorced.
        3. Don’t whish the death of your ex. They never die when you want them to.
        4. If you found your partner in bed with the milkman, it won’t be a solution that you never take milk in the tea.
        5. Avoid negative thoughts as: If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex, what do you do with the lumber?
        6. Don’t plan a divorce party. A divorce party… is that really better than a wedding party?
        7. In the future don’t trust your pastor anymore. Pastor McFucking Bride this … Pastor McFucking Bride that. Fuck him!
        8. Do not think you’re a unique case, a disgrace with two legs. No, you were unfaithful and so was your partner, just like any other normal couple.
        9. Do not drink bleach.
        10. Do not wait 15 days to bring laundry to your mom’s home.

        Bonus: Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.
        Divorce (in stereo) – By Ela and Dugutigui

      • Hahahahahahahaha :)))))
        My God! How on earth am I going to write next to this? 😛 I am thinking what to add to it, honestly it will take a while… :)))))
        You’re such a great writer, D. I’ll get back to you with my part of it… 🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        Should I understand this was acceptable for you? Finally I found the necessary ten minutes to write the requested essay… Those are my don’ts
        Yours the do’s
        Good luck!

      • It is more than acceptable, and you know it. 🙂
        I will give it a thought, maybe tonight I can write my share too. 🙂

      • This should be the first part of the post, yours should be the final part. How do you like it? 😛

        You have given her the best years of your life, yet at the end she never seemed to understand you at all. And being unhappy made you think of all the good times you used to share and wonder why the hell you now feel like trapped in an endless nightmare. You don’t dream much, and even when you do it’s all about the things you’d love to still do, but cannot because of being married. Un-happily ever after.

        If you’d have to make the top ten of what you dream to do again it would sure sound like this:

        1. Sleep without being waken up every 5 minutes because you snore too loud
        2. Be able to buy all you want without arguing with her about prices
        3. Being able to watch the football finale and peacefully drink your beer
        4. Being able to go only with the kids in the amusement park and actually have loads of fun
        5. Spend time with the boys without hearing her complain about the chores not done
        6. Leave the pile of dirty dishes in the sink without having a scandal in the end
        7. Flirting with the hot chick next door without worrying about your wife
        8. Go out in the clubs like in the good old times and get back drunk and happy early in the morning
        9. Getting layed as often as you want, no strings attached
        10. Finally enjoy your freedom you never had with your parents, never had afterwards, never had with her, and keep it.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Perfect, I’m posting it 🙂

      • Oikidoiky! 😀
        I’m posting too, I just add an image to it.

      • Oh, and I corrected few things, if there are still mistakes please tell me… 😛

      • Dugutigui says:

        I published as it came 🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        You are missing a line 🙂

        My share of this joint post is aimed to the people that had never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.

      • I’ll put it in the post. 🙂 I thought it was a comment for me 🙂

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