what’s wrong with sex? – (en)

WHAT'S WRONG WITH SEX
The primary purpose of sex is obtaining pleasure, sensual pleasure, pleasure of the body.
However, in everyday experience, sexuality does not always lead to pleasure, even in the realm of fantasy. Contrary to this, it is usually source of frustration, anxiety, guilt, suffering and loneliness.
Because you have no memory for things that happened ten or twenty years ago, you’re still mouthing the same nonsense as three thousand years ago. Worse, you cling until your last nail breaks to such absurdities as ‘race,’ ‘class,’ ‘nation,’ and the obligation to observe a religion, and repress your sexuality. Thus your ‘normal’ ‘adjusted’ state is too often the abdication of ecstasy, the betrayal of our true potentialities; that many of us are only too successful in acquiring a false self to adapt to false realities.
Because of that, one argument that has been put forward to explain this, at least from an ample sector of progressive authors, is our Judeo-Christian heritage. The argument is based on the repression of non-reproductive sexuality established by the Jewish at the beginning of their story. Note here that this repression of free sexuality had no moral purpose for them, but was primarily aimed to ideological and religious differentiation. Also political and military utility.
The peoples of Asia Minor invaded by the Jews regarded sexual pleasure as a gift from the gods, and fertility rites, orgies, bacchanalias, the so-called sacred prostitution (of both sexes), were an integral part of non-monotheistic religions. Therefore, the fight against other religions (the foundation of the national character of the Jews), acquired characteristics of combating sexual pleasure. That is, the so-called fight against idolatry became the fight against the body, ours and of others.
This does not cost too much to the Jews, since they were the representatives of the first fully patriarchal societies in history. For them obedience, trust in authority, was the highest virtue. To maintain disciplined people, warlike, imperialistic, one of the conditions is to eliminate the free play of sexuality.
Based on this we can understand why the persecution of free sexuality among Jews. It wasn’t to encourage reproduction, but considering that sexual impulse is absorbent, rampant, “not subject to reason” and, therefore, encourages disobedience and disorder.
A society based on family and absolute respect for authority, can not afford the free play of sexual pleasure. Even St. Augustine clearly acknowledges it when he says that sexuality is not bad per se, but must be fought and regulated because it encourages disobedience …
Now we can understand, if we agree with the above discussion, why the Jews were given a repressive sexual code. But what has that to do with the frustrations, anxieties, fears, guilt and dissatisfaction that assail us here and now when we make love with someone or when we don’t? Or when we don’t know exactly what our bodies or the bodies of others want?
What peasant, poor, insignificant and ignorant people, on the borders of the empire, have to do with what we live here every day three thousand years later?
Something, but not too much.
Khajuraho
The confusion between Jewish and Christian values​​, its no-differentiation, like they were the same or a consequence of each other, exempts scholars to analyze why the permissive teachings of Jesus became the repressive morality of the Church, and prevents simultaneously our awareness on the changes and fluctuations that Christian sexual morality has had throughout history. I will not say that the morality of Christ is that of a hippie, but obviously for Orthodox Jews it would seem a spawn of the devil.
And this has a lot to do with what we feel, the way we live our body and that of others: the discourse of the Church on sexuality, from the Inquisition to the Second Vatican Council. A discourse that comes down to what St. Paul said: “Do not be deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor invested, nor sodomites … will inherit the kingdom of God”
Now, the Church is not a stupid, backward and stagnant institution, still stubbornly repeating this “naïve speech” because once was said by St. Paul, St. Augustine, or St. Thomas, much less because Moses has said it.
If the discourse of the Church on sexuality is currently repressive, the phenomenon should be explained by the current conditions, the same way we understand the Jewish moral three thousand years ago by the sociopolitical conditions of the Jewish people three thousand years ago.
If Catholicism and other religions wield in this discourse on sexuality more close to Moses than to Jesus, is not the product of a throwback, but of smart political institutions that want to keep their current status, and obviously they do, since the ongoing importance of religion is quite clear.
In other words, if religious discourse ensures that sex is bad and for the majority of people this is important, is because our society specifically expects that speech, because the existing system needs a religious justification to help maintain its dominance, the order of their privileges, but have to find arguments written three thousand years ago.
With the religious and dogmatic assertion that free sexuality is inherently inhumane, antisocial, animalizing, and repressive, control is justified as a human need, as an inescapable defense reaction or social hygiene, to save civilization and its fundamental institutions. So we talk about sexuality as something demonic, irrational, destructive and chaotic, as a kind of beast that brutalizes and animalizes man who don’t monitors himself, leading to break up the most sacred of human nature.
In short, if we want to know what’s wrong with sex, we should forget to look up embarrassed and simply look at ourselves and our fellowmen, face to face and openly.
If we do this, what we see is that our sexuality, usually, is not expressed or preformed spontaneously, not governed by the laws of personal pleasure, but in fact is almost always repressed, controlled, manipulated and distorted by social power, by the various powers that act directly or indirectly on us.
Sexuality is perhaps the field where the power structure of social relations is most manifest. This manipulation of sexuality has been more clear, especially from the eighteenth century, with the rise of the bourgeoisie as a class in power.
At that point, the monogamous conjugal family (nuclear family) confiscates sexuality, tries to absorb monopolistically the reproductive function, and the question becomes absolutely private. It leaves one recognized place for sexuality, utilitarian and fruitful: the parents’ bedroom. Any sexuality that is or is intended purely out of this place, should be lived as hidden, marginal, sinful, abnormal, unnatural, aberrant and punishable at all levels.
The prevailing sexual morality officially considered licit sexuality only restricted to the relationship penis-vagina between two adult individuals, without violence, with no family ties, both of the opposite sex, in a private setting, in a union consecrated by the compulsory bond of marriage, monogamy, based on love and, in the optimum, intended to sex procreation and not simply pleasure. Outside this framework, any sexual activity, fantasy or desire, is considered illegal, sinful, vicious, abnormal, sickly, morbid or perverse and, therefore, condemnable. Not only by society but also by the individual who has been trained from childhood in this moral code.
It should be noted that sexual repression had always failed, from the moment that has never wipe out illicit sexuality, if that had been its only intention. In reality, the forbidden activities and sexual fantasies have always constituted the bulk of the sexual life of any person. But the effectiveness of the repressive moral code is based not only on what is forbidden, but by prohibiting many things -and knowing that they are humanly impossible to avoid- it creates a network of guilt from which no one escapes, and this is much more effective than direct repression itself.
Moreover, as the moral code leads to experience sexuality as an exclusive competence of our private lives, we live these behaviors and feelings of shame and blame as personal problems, as if we were the only ones violating the codes, as if all others lead a holy and pious life, and the only “deviant” and “evil” we were…
But that’s not all. In conducting our sexuality as intimate, individual, as if each of us were an island body, we attack and alienate the very foundation of Eros, which is by obligation and desire the more social, communal and sharing of all human impulses.
Khajuraho3
This is what’s wrong with our sex life: instead of being at the service of personal pleasure, which automatically is freely shared with all coming into play, it is subjected to codes that tell us what is good or bad to feel, what is good or bad to share, and even communicate, what is right or wrong to do, and with whom, and under what circumstances, and, above all, with what purpose. We have been educated in such a way that we can accept sexuality if and only if our sexual behaviors are means and instruments to achieve nonsexual objectives: Form couples, establish a family, have children, extend the surname, assault, humiliate, catch the husband, survive economically, escape roles, assert ourselves, being in love, get tenderness or pay protection, set dependencies, pay the divorce, demonstrate our power, our techniques, our ability to seduce, our manhood, or our love. The list is in fact endless. And if not, you could analyze yourself.
And the core of our being, which is really and only OUR WISHES, where is it? In the underworld of the repressed, unconscious, unknown, hidden, and pathological culpability. In other words, what really defines us as people, as human beings, unique, irreplaceable, have been thrown into the place of the unrecognized, and we remain firmly there.
Don’t confuse the wishes I’m speaking about with the so-called sexual desire, as that would make a gross caricature of itself, and is just another system trap. Desire is desire to be, to speak out in the real world, making the environment to fit to what we want, to act as we really are, not someone’s desire to possess or be possessed by someone.
So, no matter how active the sex life of anyone is, it won’t enrich him/her. Desire does not seek to multiply coupling acts more or less mechanic. What desire is seeking is pleasure, excitement, not only at the “carnal” level but as total relationship -not in the imperialist sense, but as unlimited-deep, and extensive as well. And with characters not bound to follow a script, but with real people, who are able to auto-recognized themselves as desiring subjects and act accordingly. Desire just looks for the communion between free beings.
Daily relations -public and private- to which we are accustomed, has nothing of this. We relate to each other as actors tied to a character, and get from others the same thing. We are husbands with our wives, parents with our children, children with our parents, chiefs with our subordinates, subordinates with our bosses, teachers with our students, lovers with our lovers, and so on till exhausting the repertoire of social figures.
Sexuality experienced this way is, of course, destructive to oneself and for all. But it is a socially encouraged destructiveness. The system requires that people move, act, think and feel just as a support material for the different social roles. A desiring subject is creative and therefore, unpredictable and messy, in other words, socially maladjusted.
If the repression of desire (and life), generates frustration, aggression and violence, this is handled in a socially useful way, focusing it on the “self-improvement”, the competitiveness, “struggle for life”, the search for individual and selfish success. And if frustration drifts toward self-destruction (suffering, disease, neurosis, alcoholism, drugs, addiction, suicide), it is not a serious problem for society, unless it affects production, but for the subjects who live and suffer individually and culpably.
Now, what is the basic mechanism used by our today’s society to achieve we act in this way? This instrument of domination is LOVE. For the love of parents children accept repression, for fear of losing this love they suffer education, to secure love we establish couples, accept dependence, fulfill roles, we wear out chasing unattainable perfection, and suffer and put the blame on ourselves where the ideals fail.
Running the risk of sounding cynical, I would say that this is what’s wrong with sex: that, unfortunately, it’s at the service of love and not pleasure. We are too romantic when we talk and think about sexuality. We require sexuality of things that have nothing to do with it: to give us back the love of our mother, that our mate should be everything to us, and we everything for him/her, that orgasms should be institutional, or even our sexuality should define us as people. I believe, I clearly know, love is just a kind of symptom that arises through the repression of libido.
We, my dear fellowmen, are suffering here a particularly unattractive and discouragingly common affliction called tunnel vision, which, for all the misery it causes, ought to top the job list at the World Health Organization. Tunnel vision is a disease in which perception is restricted by ignorance and distorted by vested interest. Tunnel vision is caused by an optic fungus that multiplies when the brain is less energetic than the ego. It is complicated by exposure to politics. When a good idea is run through the filters and compressors of ordinary tunnel vision, it not only comes out reduced in scale and value but in its new dogmatic configuration produces effects the opposite of those for which it originally was intended.
If desire causes suffering, it may be because we do not desire wisely, or that we are inexpert at obtaining what we desire. Instead of hiding our heads in a prayer cloth and building walls against temptation, why not get better at fulfilling desire? Salvation is for the feeble, that’s what I think. I don’t want any fucking salvation, I want life, all of life, the miserable as well as the superb. If the gods would tax ecstasy, then I shall pay; however, I shall protest their taxes at each opportunity, and if Woden or Shiva or Buddha or that Christian fellow -what’s his name?- cannot respect that, then I’ll accept their wrath. At least I will have tasted the banquet that they have spread before me on this rich, round planet, where all wishes should be fulfilled, the more forbidden, the more delicious, rather than recoiling from it like a toothless bunny. I cannot believe that the most delicious things were placed here merely to test us, to tempt us, to make it the more difficult for us to capture the grand prize: the safety of the void. To fashion of life such a petty game is unworthy of both men and gods.
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What’s wrong with sex? – Dugutigui on some ideas from Extrem and some others

About Dugutigui

In the “Diula” language in Mali, the term « dugutigui » (chief of the village), literally translated, means: «owner of the village»; «dugu» means village and «tigui», owner. Probably the term is the result of the contraction of «dugu kuntigui» (literally: chief of the village).
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66 Responses to what’s wrong with sex? – (en)

  1. carinaragno says:

    misogyny happened. sex has been reduced to physical contact below the navels, nothing sensual or fulfilling about it. which is why people are never fulfilled and always looking elsewhere in other partners …… sad isn’t it. sensual sex is more of a mind experience than just perverse degrading physical contact.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Misogyny -and misandry- happens.
      Everything is a mental exercise, but I can not imagine sex without physical contact, although I agree that this should not be limited below the navels. In fact it shouldn’t be limited at all…
      Thanks for your comment!

      • carinaragno says:

        Once upon a time, way before the concept of Religion was introduced to this planet, honoring of sexual energy as life force was an integral aspect of humanness. North, South, East and West in all corners of the world , the peoples of this vast place called Earth celebrated the body and primarily the genitals as a vehicle that transported them along the road to enlightenment. Ceremony, celebration and awareness surrounding the Sacred Union of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine, was reverently and regularly practiced within the philosophies of world wide indigenous spirituality.

        Over the course of centuries, humankind has taken the sacredness from the sensual and placed around our sexual energy a dark cloud laced with repression and shame. The Sacred Union has been demoted to a “sex act” which one confines to an activity between the navel and the knees. The open and free celebration of Spirit and Nature bearing fruits of the on going love affair between Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine has been restructured into a collection of patriarchal dogmas which render the feminine subordinate to male deities.

        Without sensuality, sex may lose its allure and become tedious, routine and frustrating. When we learn to expand beyond our physical boundaries into an unlimited sensual encounter, we truly learn to commune with the Divine.

      • Dugutigui says:

        I endorse hundred percent your comment. In fact, with a beautiful language, you’re describing what I have tried to grossly present. To my way of thinking sensuality and sex are conceptually the same: Desire. And as I said in the post: Desire does not seek to multiply coupling acts more or less mechanic. What desire is seeking is pleasure, excitement, not only at the “carnal” level but as total relationship -not in the imperialist sense, but as unlimited-deep, and extensive as well. And with characters not bound to follow a script, but with real people, who are able to auto-recognized themselves as desiring subjects and act accordingly. Desire just looks for the communion between free beings.

      • WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

        I didn’t know what ‘misandry’ meant before – thank you for enlightening me.

        A very interesting article. It is very long, mind!! (well, maybe I have a short attention span!), but very interesting.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Don’t be worried for that. No one reads; if someone does read, he doesn’t understand; if he understands, he immediately forgets.🙂🙂

        Misandry is the hatred or dislike of men or boys. Misandry comes from Greek misos (“hatred”) and andros (“man”). Misandry is the antonym of philandry, the fondness towards men, love, or admiration of them. The term misogyny is the equivalent term for women.
        Just like misogyny, misandry is wrong. And two wrongs don’t make a right. Generally, “misandry” refers to the hatred and oppression of men on a genotypic basis.

        Normally my posts are like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. But in this particular case, I have an important point to make, so I didn’t try to be subtle or clever. I used a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time -a tremendous whack,🙂 🙂 so the result.

        Thanks a lot for your comment!

  2. There’s nothing wrong with it D. As long as there’s also some love attached.
    You have such a sharp mind and you split every damn hair in 100 little hairs… But deep inside you need love too. You know that a man without his woman is pretty empty. Just like a woman without her man.

  3. El Guapo says:

    Personally, I’ve found sex with love (on both sides) to be the most satisfying of all.
    I’m curious – from where did you draw the opening historical sections?

    • Dugutigui says:

      Yes, something like this happened once to me… she looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble was, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to🙂
      Now seriously, I think you could feel a strong desire, the most delicious sensual life, have a perfect communication, and just be free, so you come back when you want, not when you have to. Also if you are able to have this kind of wonderful relationship, why would you be so selfish that you won’t share those clean and strong feelings with others?

      From several articles in the net and my own opinion about.

  4. sweetoothjames says:

    Damn good article D! I can answer the question you posed quite easily though: Women aren’t giving ‘it’ up as easily as they once used to. The hierarchy of women’s needs are thus; weddings and babies. Everything else tends to negate the physical demands of sex unless women put themselves in what Jean-Paul Sartre once called ‘Bad Faith’ and the concept of ‘love’ is often a sympton of this. When you also factor in all the social networking/online flirting/virtual chat and my personal favorite (brazillian ladies on webcams) which have replaced actual human contact then i have to say that i fear for my ever-expanding testicles (ahem) men everywhere. I have no fears that the human race will die out though because women will always have babies wether men are interested in helping concieve them or not. Those saucy jezebels always manage to find a way…

    • Dugutigui says:

      Thank you! I don’t know why, but I was sure you would like this post🙂🙂
      Maybe something else sucks around here… not just women… like, the public in general. Yeah, the public sucks. Today’s people are TV’s heart and Newspaper’s soul. Seriously, I don’t know when exactly that UFO landed and dumped all these people with the crayons, the drool bib and the helmet, but they apparently aren’t coming back for them.
      And the political institutions -that want to keep their current status, know this very well. They have been destroying education during the last few decades, they put in “smart” people’s heads having children is not a good thing … so today only idiots are still loaded with creatures -production units, thus there are fewer bright people, while the obtuse mass increases geometrically … and so we go … more religion, less freedom, zero leaders, and all around a pathetic fraud. And this is what is left for us: a petty game, a piece of shit … For most women, to fall into either the sexy woman who seeks to relive her chaotic childhood experience by disrobing and rubbing her snatch on a brass pole in front of men that care for her like her father did, or the nice extremely uptight, naïve, innocent virginal girl category. For most men, if lucky, they can get a hot chick once in her 30′s, after she’s tired of fucking the Alpha males, and decides to settle down with a beta-hole for money and stability. Or, mostly, he will have occasional sex, but find in the main, a used-up cougar to be inferior to a porn subscription. Regardless, women won’t get quality men to marry them, and will be left with dregs whom, if they do marry, they will resent as “kitchen bitches” and “clingy, moody assholes”.
      For me, when things go wrong, I don’t go with them. I won’t give up … I’m planning to be a dead man with hard on… Hahahaha!!!

      • carinaragno says:

        Accept love in the manner in which is comes to you. Do not possess it, or attempt to control it or shape it. For love is free and shall come or go in its manner.

        @ “marriage” When a man and a woman join their lives together through ritual, and the love which they share, then they are linked to each other in another life to come.

        Yet being together, know that each of you must be alone. Understand that even though you are bound together, let this not be as captives.

        There shall always be others with who each of you may desire to share a closeness, either physical or spiritual. This is as it should be. Let your love desire fullness of life for each other and also pleasure for each other. Honor each other with openness and honesty.

        Because you have joined you lives together, you are sanctuary and comfort for each other. Together shall you stand in all things, for you are true friends.

        You are together because of your love, and you remain for this reason. Yet if this reason for coming together is forgotten, or fades, then it is well to part if needs be such. You do not honor the joining by remaining without love. Neither do you honor each other.

        ciaoo😉

      • Dugutigui says:

        I can see that I would need several lifetimes to convince you that love is a fraud … so
        AMEN🙂🙂

      • carinaragno says:

        as it would take me several life times to convince you love is all there is, absence of love is fear … which is why humanity is in state we are in

      • Dugutigui says:

        I don’t see too much love among the other species, nor any fear… and on other level the Universe wasn’t created by smoothness and love, but by fire and raw energy. For me it is better to be hated for what I am than to be loved for what I am not.

      • carinaragno says:

        am sorry for you to not see love …
        the freedom to act as you desire, harming no one by your deeds is your birthright
        do no harm, have no fear

      • Dugutigui says:

        I think if you talk down to a kid, most kids aren’t gonna like it, really, because most kids can feel when you are being patronizing. Your are mixing and confusing terms, as “sorry” (I’m nobody for you to be sorry), “harm” (you don’t need to feel any strange felling like this so-called love not to hurt anyone. You just need to be a conscious person), “fear” (It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. I always arrange my life so I appear to be fearless, well in fact less than fearless -maybe clueless🙂 )
        I’m not considering you an idiot for believing in “love”. You could be right. I could be wrong. But please don’t be so sorry for me. There is nothing at all in me to produce your sorrow.🙂

      • carinaragno says:

        yes you are right i don’t like it, or very many men for that reason

      • sweetoothjames says:

        Hi D. I didn’t get an alert that my post had been replied to. i usually do but this time for some reason i didn’t. Bloody WordPress! Anyways, i’ve just read the above reply today and i have to say that you are like a prophet emerging from 40 days and probably the same number of sleepless nights spent in deep contemplation in the desert, only coming back to generously and altruistically impart your messianic wisdom to all of the non-blog owning heathens! Everything you said is absolutely spot on and accurate, much like what i say and write on my award-winning blog [Glasgow Evening Times Most Bizarre Yet Unusually Stirring Blog Awards 2012] By rights we should both have 6 billion followers!

      • Dugutigui says:

        Thanks for the flowers… But I would be -if any- the worst prophet that’s ever existed, because I am always right🙂 That’s why the message never sold…
        On other hand, we have 7 billion (updated) followers. The problem is that they don’t know it. Yet🙂
        Thanks again STJ!

  5. incaunipocrit says:

    Reblogged this on Playground.

      • melanietoulouse says:

        Our pleasure, young man!🙂 Very interesting article, indeed… Thanx for your stop-overs @our international playground! Friendly greetings from Toulouse, France, my very best and good luck in all your endeavours! à+!

      • Dugutigui says:

        Thank you. Greetings from La Habana … in my way to North Carolina (via Mexico) in a few hours. Wishing to be back in Europe a.s.a.p.🙂

      • melanietoulouse says:

        Hola que tal, amigo!🙂 I do believe you about “Old Europe”: it still rules and rocks!🙂 Tolosa is at 3h-drive from Barcelona, olé! Me gusta mucho! Valencia tambien!🙂
        Good luck in all your present endeavours, take care & hasta luego!🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        Especially when you’re an expatriate. When you’ve lost touch with the soil. When you get precious. Even when fake European standards have ruined you. When you drink yourself to death. When you become obsessed with sex. When you spend all your time talking, not working. You are an expatriate, see? You hang around bars and brothels. Then you realize Europe is the best!🙂🙂🙂

  6. Temi says:

    I must say, I don’t find sex that enjoyable or a must-do. For me it’s just another kind of physical exercise [don’t judge me]…and btw, I’m married! Is this normal?

    • Dugutigui says:

      What is “normal”? Normal is an ideal. But it’s not reality. Reality is brutal, it’s beautiful, it’s every shade between black and white, and it’s magical. Yes, magical. Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something. May your exercise became ecstasy one day 🙂

  7. Temi says:

    Yeah…I totally agree with you, and I love the way you describe it – brutal, beautiful and magical.

  8. shianwrites says:

    I really enjoy sex but it feels right, better, safe, free, sweet and loving- when it’s within a marriage. Everything else is a lie.

    • Dugutigui says:

      The intention of most of my posts is not to convince anybody … nothing in the world is harder than convincing someone of an unfamiliar truth … but to expose different approaches to quotidian issues, trying to improve the following rates: Five percent of the people think; ten percent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.
      On other hand everything I write is calling to rebellion and revolution, but unfortunately in a way so subtle that my readers usually become reactionaries. And should be in this way, because if you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; but if you really make them think, they’ll hate you🙂

      • shianwrites says:

        Haha! So I see, so I see.😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        Let me ask you something, and do not lie to me –I already passed your lie-test on the first try🙂 :
        How many fantasies or “forbidden” pleasures have invaded your mind and never put into practice because society says that is not correct? No need to go into details … None? Few? A lot?

      • shianwrites says:

        I fulfilled all; (in your word, a lot) of my forbidden pleasures/fantasies that invaded my mind. Some I did over and over again for many years. Society never controlled my bad behavior. However, now, For over a year. I am no longer a slave to my mind or body… Ephesians 5 2:10

      • Dugutigui says:

        Well, that’s a real answer I think is going to make re-think a lot about myself … Thank you!

  9. plaridel says:

    sex is good. if it’s not that good, nobody would be enticed to copulate and assist in preventing mankind’s extinction. that being said, i don’t see nothing wrong with it as long as it’s consensual.

  10. Eric Alagan says:

    I agree with your post and your responses. Good one.

    I can and have enjoyed sex without love. I have loved without sex. I’m now in a loving relationship with plenty of sex. “Love” in the context used here – man/woman relationship.

    To each to his/her own, I reckon.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Thanks for being genuine with your comment. I would only add that the forbidden activities and sexual fantasies have always constituted the bulk of the sexual life of ANY person. And who says otherwise is simply lying🙂

  11. ashmorebondi says:

    Wonderfully written, Sir, and fully engaging I must say. Thank you, you have given me material of value and worth to start my day. It has been a belief of mine for years now that sex, as an act and a forum, is truly one of the purest ways to reach enlightenment. In addition, or as a counterpart, I believe that sex and love are and do operate on separate planes however they are and do intersect one another regularly meaning you can have one without the other. They do not have to coexist although when they do it is a magical experience.
    -ashmore.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Thank you very much for your comment.

      Completely agreed with you opinion. Enlightenment is man’s leaving his self-caused immaturity. Immaturity is the incapacity to use one’s intelligence without the guidance of another. And this is full valid speaking about sex.

      The problem with sexuality is that there are only two ways to end today’s society in an immediate and drastic way: one is that entrepreneurs in block decide to stop creating companies … the other is free sexuality, so establishment represses all forms of sexuality that do not serve their purpose, knowing that this is not possible, but creating a generalized feeling of guilt that keeps tame the sheep.

      Only to add a last minute thought: When sex becomes a magical experience by itself, who would care about love?🙂

  12. Madhu says:

    You raise some valid points D, even if I am with most of the others on sex being better with love attached. Am a woman after all🙂 There again, it is our genetic need for security that overrides desire. But I agree with you that all the rules espoused by religion as right and wrong have no basis in religion at all. They are just a way of controlling people and it is a pity that people have fallen for it for centuries and continue to do so. It is such a tragedy that our (Indian) culture that propounded the freedom of choice, is today more repressive than any of the middle eastern religions, barring Islam. That to my mind, is the primary cause for the increase in assaults against women in the subcontinent. The lack of respect for women, was always endemic. Coupled with repression, it becomes explosive.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Thanks for the comment.
      I believe that most people consider that sex should go “attached” to love because 3000 years of manipulation have made of sex something dirty, animal. You know, you can’t talk about fucking in America, people say you’re dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that’s cool.
      Sexually progressive cultures gave us literature, philosophy, civilization and the rest, while sexually restrictive cultures gave us the Dark Ages and the Holocaust.
      As for me, when two bodies meet, as unlimited-deep, and extensive as well experience, when pleasure isn’t sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is so intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim, it is just the cup overflowing. When you can stay together for hours, even days. You begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or -such is the pleasure they experience- you may never finish it. No eleven minutes there. Some people may call it love, but for me “love” is completely inferior in every way, as a poor and commercial substitute for the real thing, and anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.

  13. semprevento says:

    wow….beautiful post!
    I use traslate… a lot of effort…but it was worth it!
    kisses
    vento

    • Dugutigui says:

      Sorry for the delay answering you. I’ve been travelling quite a lot lately, and silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone. Thanks a lot for your comment and for the kisses! The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss🙂

      Google:
      Mi dispiace per il ritardo ti risponde. Ho viaggiato molto ultimamente, e la gratitudine silenziosa non è molto utile a chiunque. Grazie mille per il tuo commento e per i baci! La bocca è fatta per la comunicazione, e nulla è più articolata di un bacio🙂

  14. FLYNN says:

    Reblogged this on The Blogging Path and commented:
    I’ll tell you what’s wrong with “sex” in one word: “feminism”. Women forgot that it’s okay to be an ordinary woman, who could fulfill the needs of an ordinary man. Thank you.

  15. pepelepops says:

    Reblogueó esto en TACITA DE TÉy comentado:
    Pleasure.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Gracias por rebloguearme en tu estupendo blog!
      Más gente que nunca está dejando la televisión atrás para leer mis post. Sólo en el último año he ganado más de dos lectores (tres, para ser exactos). Así que me gustaría tomar un momento para decir gracias mamá, papá, y a la víctima del secuestro que sigue encadenada en el sótano.
      Muchas gracias a ti también!

  16. mooonalila says:

    Very interesting and relevant analysis.
    Being aware of the troubles I have with my own desire (and yet god knows I’ve been working on it), I can’t really imagine how everybody’ s twisted link to sex could change after three thousand years of conditioning.
    Unless… Your text will be studied in the schools ?😉

  17. anoxxx says:

    You have a great blog.
    Greetings from KSA.

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