of nipples – (en)

It was hot outside. It was hot inside. I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy. I was hot. So I’ve given myself a haircut. And I was at a bar nursing a beer. I then saw a bald woman sweating. What’s up Mr.? I said, my nipples. It was 100 F outside. It was getting pretty soaked now. I offered to tweeze her eyebrows. We were at a bar nursing some beers. She accepted and was so grateful that she offered to trade lipstick with me. It was hot everywhere. She said, I got nipple rings ($)($). I said, good idea. You can now jump car batteries without cables. Still I got hard like I’ve just seen some nipple on Beyoncé, no disrespect to Hov, but if I didn’t I’d be beyond gay. And in remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear her red lipstick over my right nipple. Her tweezed eyebrows in my shirt pocket.
People who get implants (+)(+) It’s so depressing. People. I don’t know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place. Here. Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move you eyes down to where you nipples used to be, put you breasts up on your head, everybody will pay attention. She said, opinions are like nipples, everybody has. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated “I am interested in your nipples” or not. I thought her a vacuum with nipples. I said, why don’t you go back to that doctor and have him suck the fat out of your head? Why don’t you smart little bastard? I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy. Ending up an atheist wasn’t my fault. My unwed teenage mother’s religion forced her to breast feed me like a crack-addicted baby after coating her nipples (@)(@) with juice from a habanero pepper. I’m so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I’d come out sucking my thumb. Mr., you’re drunk again. No Max, I’m just exhausted because I’ve been up all night drinking. Max again, this can be a great opportunity for you and her to bond. Bond… James Bond. I’ll do it. It has always been about morality and the freedom to decide my character’s fate, even projecting my own demeanor onto my hero. If that doesn’t float my boat, there’s always the limitless sex, marriage and the option to cheat on my wife. I still wear her red lipstick over my right nipple. That doesn’t make any sense. I’m a weird man… when I get mad, I get in the oven. It’s you Americans. There’s something about nipples you hate. If this were Germany, we’d be romping around naked on the stage.
It was hot outside. Hot inside.
Of nipples – Dugutigui

About Dugutigui

In the “Diula” language in Mali, the term « dugutigui » (chief of the village), literally translated, means: «owner of the village»; «dugu» means village and «tigui», owner. Probably the term is the result of the contraction of «dugu kuntigui» (literally: chief of the village).
This entry was posted in English, Humor, Politically Incorrect Language, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to of nipples – (en)

  1. rheath40 says:

    Beautiful. You’re right, natural is always better than fake.

  2. El Guapo says:

    That is what Kerouac would have tried to write if he wanted to write something worthwhile.
    (How long have you wanted to do a post where you could use all the breast emoticons?)

    • Dugutigui says:

      I am flattered by your comparison to a cult writer admired for his improvisations seeking more immediacy than correction, all with a simple style sometimes hasty that makes it seem that we are listening to a friend after half dozen burkies. 🙂 🙂 .Thank you for this, even being far from true. As I’m driving down I see a building that says, “Self Storage,” and I think, “I wonder if my ego could possibly fit in just one unit after your comment.” 🙂 🙂

      My daughter saw me working on this post and decided to do her own version, which I have to admit is thousand times better than mine! and therefore which has been published. My favorite part is that she put the emoticons in the middle… 🙂

  3. you have amazing thought patterns.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Should I say thank you for that? 🙂 🙂
      You know, all my life I’ve understood the nature of where I come from, but I never thought it might be wicked until now 🙂
      I believe my thoughts are a patterned web and one could see the silver pattern when the sun shone upon it. It seemed much frailer than my dark tangle, that had a hideous strength, but it might not be so always, not in the final reckoning.
      Well, seriously, thank you very much, indeed, I never underestimate the allure of the goodwill.!

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