dear judge – (en)

Bragança Judiciary – District Court of Bragança
The Honorable, Magistrate Judge
Dear Judge,
In response to your request for additional information, I state:
On the No. 1 Item, on my participation in the events, I mentioned: “Trying to run the task alone and unaided” as the cause of my accident. I’m being asked in your letter to give a more detailed statement, and I hope what follows will clarify once and for all your doubts.
I’ve been a bricklayer for the last ten years. On the day of the accident I was working unaided by placing bricks in a wall on the sixth floor of a building under construction in the city. After completing my task I realized that approximately 550 lbs of bricks were left over. Instead of loading them up by hand to the ground level, I decided to place them in a wheelbarrow and lower it using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to a beam of the ceiling of the 6th floor.
I went down to the ground floor and tied a barrow with a rope and using the pulley I lifted it to the 6th floor, afterwards I tied the rope to one of the columns of the building. Then I went up back to the 6th floor and loaded the bricks into the barrow. I went down to the ground, untied the rope and grabbed it tightly, so that the 550 lbs of bricks come down smoothly (I should point out that on Item 1 of my statement to the police, it’s indicated that my body weight was 175 lbs).
Surprisingly, my feet moved away from the ground, and I began to ascend quickly pulled by the rope. Because of the shock, I lost my presence of mind and thoughtlessly I further clung to the rope while ascending rapidly. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrow coming down at a speed close to that of my climb, it was impossible to avoid the collision. I think it was there where the fracture of the skull was produced. I continued up until my fingers were hooked into the sheave, causing the stop of my ascension, and also multiple fractures of fingers and wrist. At this point (of events) I had regained my presence of mind and, despite the pain, I continued clinging to the rope. It was then that the barrow hit the ground, the bottom of it split and the bricks scattered. The barrow weighed approximately 55 lbs without bricks. Because of a simple physical principle I started to descend rapidly to the ground. Approximately passing by the 3rd floor I met the empty barrow coming up and, in the collision that ensued, I’m pretty sure the fracture of the ankles and the nose occurred. This blow, thankfully, slowed my fall, so that I landed on top of the mountain of bricks, and I only broke three vertebrae.
However, I regret to report that when I was lying down over the bricks, with severe pain and unable to move, and watching the wheelbarrow over me, I lost again my presence of mind and set free the rope. Because the barrow was heavier than the rope, it quickly descended and landed on top of my legs, fracturing both tibias.
Expecting I have definitely clarified the causes and course of events, I remain yours.
Respectfully,
.
Dear Judge – Dugutigui’s version of the Bricklayer’s Song

About Dugutigui

In the “Diula” language in Mali, the term « dugutigui » (chief of the village), literally translated, means: «owner of the village»; «dugu» means village and «tigui», owner. Probably the term is the result of the contraction of «dugu kuntigui» (literally: chief of the village).
This entry was posted in English, Humor, Writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to dear judge – (en)

  1. Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa….. Oh my God, you made me laugh AGAIN with tears, D.!!!! 😆😆😆 What a story… I don’t know the song, but I know for sure that you are a fenomenal story teller, did you know that?
    I can also imagine the reaction of the ER staff when the victim arrived…😀😆😛

    • Dugutigui says:

      Make you smile is my greatest reward!!! 10Q!!!

      • No, no, not only that you make me smile, but you make me laugh with tears … This is very rare, I asure you. I am a too damn serious woman…😆
        Thank YOU, D.!!😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        You know, comedy is the blues for people –as me- who can’t sing🙂 Thanks a lot for your comment.

      • But maybe you can sing, have you ever tried?😀
        I agree with the blues, it’s a great music genre. One must have a heart in the first place to like the blues.😉

      • Dugutigui says:

        I’ve never tried to sing -and even less dancing. The sky is not my limit … I am🙂

      • Yeah, you are too damn serious also…😀😆😆

      • Dugutigui says:

        I guess so… 🙂🙂

      • 😆 I think so…
        But then being serious can bring mostly advantages in life… Or not?

      • Dugutigui says:

        Well, the truth is that I may look outwardly very serious … but I’ve never really taken seriously myself🙂 privately -and probably, that balance is what can bring some advantage in this joke that is life. At least, it avoids many drawbacks … I guess …

      • Interesting perception. If you see life like a joke, it means you have lived many sarcastic surprizes in life…
        For me it’s more of a battle… My feeling is more similar to being gone to war and being ready to get a bullet in my skull any second. I am too damn aware that anything is possible. Anything bad mostly…🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        The only bad things are that you can not discard. Everything that can not be abandoned, possesses you actually.

      • Well if you think about it, there are so many factors that one cannot control. How can you know that you will not have a stroke in the middle of the night ? How can you be sure that the one taking care of your ill mother is going to administer correctly her heart medication? How can you be sure that your kid is not going to jump in front of a car while playing in school? Are you there to be cautious for them? No, you depend on others. And when you depend on others all is possible. Why? Because sometimes people don’t care about the effects of their lack of care/attention/concentration. It’s just an example. I guess it would be easier to leave it all in God’s hand.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. You can’t be sure of anything (except death and taxes). And maybe other thing: The only sure thing about luck is that it will change one way or another🙂

      • 🙂 Very positive attitude, thank you for this wise answer. My attitude is too cynical… I guess I’ve seen on regular bases too much stupidity causing other people’s suffering…😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        Did you ever notice that? How many really stupid people you run into during the day? Goddam there’s a lot of stupid bastards walking around. Carry a little pad and pencil with you. You’ll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day. Look at it this way: Think of how stupid the average person is and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn’t take you very long to spot one of them does it? Take you about eight seconds. Hahahahahahahaha🙂

      • You know, I am not talking about the simple people who maybe had no chance to get a proper education. I am talking about people responsible for others, proffesionals that make bad decisions regarding patients, proffesionals that have no idea how their lack of attention/intelligence has ruined the health and well being of others.😦

      • Dugutigui says:

        No time now to explain you my theory about Monkeys and Baboons… Bye🙂

      • So what’s your theory about Monkeys and Baboons?😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        Coming soon .. probably as a post🙂
        As soon as I get ride of the soft state in which I find myself right now and again start pounding the keys with nostalgia for the guillotine …🙂

      • Ah, you are great in your soft state… The gullotine is not for everyone’s taste…😛😆

      • Dugutigui says:

        S.O.F.T. = Same Old Fucking Thing🙂🙂🙂🙂

      • Ah.. And Guillotine is what?
        Get Us Illumination Long Legged Odist That Idealises Narcotic Elixir ?😆😛

      • Dugutigui says:

        Wow! That’s something!! I think I’m going to retire from this competition🙂🙂

      • 😆😆😆 I am joking… Nooooooo, don’t quit… Come on, you are better than me! Other words?😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        Girls
        Unwilling
        In
        Letting
        Lads
        On
        The
        Inner
        Nice
        Enema

        Hahahahaha
        Sorry🙂

      • Well, “Lads” can at least keep on dreaming… Even without guillotine….😆😆😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        It was difficult to find a matching word with E, that’s all. And that I’m a sick evil fuck .. hahahahaha🙂

      • 😀😆😆 well, you can say anything, I’m not getting offended

      • Guys Usually Invent Love Letters Often To Invade Naked Eves…🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty🙂
        I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now🙂

      • The air and the sex are two huge subjects…🙂 How many hours you have?😆😆😆

      • Dugutigui says:

        5 minutes left🙂🙂🙂

      • Then you have plenty of time to take a deep breath, fill your lungs with this impure air that we have at this point in history and get ready for supper.🙂
        Have a good night D., always a pleasure to read your blog and talk to you.😉🙂🙂

  2. Eva says:

    Hi D,
    So nice you’re so back and so is the wicked, sinister humor. You came to mind because recently I watched an Argentine film ‘Un Cuento Chino’. It seemed like the kind of story that could have been written by you.

    Best,

    E

    • Dugutigui says:

      Humor has permission to be sinister. They’re only words. It’s the context that counts. It’s the user. It’s the intention behind the words that makes them good or bad. The words are completely neutral. The words are innocent. I’m inocent🙂
      A nice Argentinean film BTW. And also BTW, I think many Argentines would be happy to see me burn in hell🙂 Anyway thanks a lot for the comment and happy to see you again!

      • Eva says:

        Thanks for the reply D. I meant the ‘wicked’ and ‘sinister’ humor in a nice way. Sarcasm, just like fiction is a way of telling the truth or whatever the intentions may be. I’ve not been writing and unlikely will be. It’s difficult with a teething eleven month old hyperactive baby boy😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        I am sure that this activity is much more interesting and rewarding than these blogs that are not going anywhere. Congratulations🙂 🙂

      • Eva says:

        Thank you! Thanks for the affirmation.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Straight from the heart (if I have something left) 🙂 Thanks to you!!!

  3. Bashar A. says:

    Glad to find out this didn’t happen to you🙂

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