travelling & thinking – (en)

Good NIGHT!
I have no words…
But, if there is a word I love to say, that is NIGHT!  I love it!  I am a bona fide rascal. I went out more nights than a garbage truck. When I bought a vacation package: six days and five nights, I say: remove the days, I’m going on a spree!
What happens actually is that I’m in the “Age of Metals”: silver hair, gold teeth and the other thing: lead … so now I travel. Six days and five nights.
And if I’m not travelling, I think.
Now I’m thinking.
The cow has four tits. Pigs sixteen. The descendants of the monkey, us, only two, and there’s room for at least another four. Not a good design, I believe. Provided they are women’s secret source of power over men -having the right tits often results in social and economic gain-, I think women would be more perfect with six knockers.
My sense on it:
If you have triplets, actually one has to go for dinner at the corner’s bar.
To fully excite a woman’s body usually requires prolonged stimulation. With six fun bags the foreplay would last longer, to only count them will take some pleasant minutes, and to unbutton a bra with three buckles and tease out the cups one by one, as if it were an egg carton, considerably would length the sexual preliminaries which facilitates penetration and provides women with arousal level sufficient to achieve orgasm.
On other hand, the balls. Another failed design.
If I would be in the role of a creator, they should come attached with Velcro. That way, when you want to ride a bike, take then off from where they use to be and glue them on top of the head. And wear a helmet.
And the balls. The eyeballs I mean.
Since we only have two, why put the two in the front? Wouldn’t it be better one facing forward and the other backward? Anyone to whom they stole the backpack knows what I’m talking about. In my case, I do not know my back. We can go to the moon but not see our back. That makes no sense.
And like that, many other parts of our body. A homespun design, a trivial example of evolutionary change.
I’m just back from India. Have you been there?  Well, is a country a little weird … but it deeply hooked me. I was going for a week and I’ve spent there three full months. A cow placed herself in front the hotel door and I’ve been eating candy bars for ninety days. Cows do whatever they want. It’s like The Sanfermines. In slow motion.
Also people are very strange. I had a fakir, a dry guy, black and blue cured meat color, with a fat diaper on his head; and I asked him: What do you do?  I eat crystals. I, for the nonce, packed away the glasses. For fuck’s sake, they are prescription glasses and for that one this would be a candy, in one nibble he fucks me two hundred Euros. After all the guy was freaky, freaky. He ate bulbs, stick himself needles and slept in a bed with the spikes up. I asked him why he did that. To suffer. Fuck, become a member of the Chicago Cubs and stop this nonsense.
And the food is not exactly spicy. It is a different concept. I ordered a curry dish “al curry” with curry sauce and garnished with curry, tasted a spoonful and it melted down two fillings. The waiter asked if I wanted a drink. Better bring me the extinguisher.
But then they also have shocking things. They have a river, the Ganges, sure you know, you are educated, it’s a holy river for them, so let’s see how I say it, politely… there’s shit in it to bore you!  They go there to purify, not only them, the old bike, the washing machine, the stove, the grandpa’s body…
I’m going now to Antarctica. They say it’s almost as cold as Burgos in Spain.
Stay posted.
.
Travelling & Thinking – Dugutigui’s free adaptation of a text by Leo Harlem

About Dugutigui

In the “Diula” language in Mali, the term « dugutigui » (chief of the village), literally translated, means: «owner of the village»; «dugu» means village and «tigui», owner. Probably the term is the result of the contraction of «dugu kuntigui» (literally: chief of the village).
This entry was posted in English, Humor, Politically Incorrect Language, Travel, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to travelling & thinking – (en)

  1. Beautiful. Nice to read you again D. , I’ve missed you.🙂
    So, you’ve been in India, interesting place full of contrasts…
    What was the most beautiful thing you’ve see there? Because obviously, if you wanted to stay a week and spent 3 months you were hypnotized by beauty…😀

    • Dugutigui says:

      The truth is I’ve been in Argentina all the time. Last time I was in India was some ten years ago…
      Confucius said that if you choose a job you love, you will never have to work a day in your life. He was wronger than wrong!
      I’ve been working as an animal in the job I use to love, so much that I’m starting to hate it🙂 In any case I have vacations next month…
      Nice to see you around again. BTW: You can love someone so much… but you can never love people as much as you can miss them.
      I missed you too🙂

      • Of course you can love people as much as you can miss them. Sincerely.🙂😀
        Age of metal? Haha, I’ll reach it too, soon…😆
        I know what you’re saying about your work. But still I think that you’re so passionate about it that you will always love it despite all that shit that happens all the time…😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        Well, probably. Probably at the end of next month🙂
        So how you doing? (and don’t answer me like the fakir… hahahaha)
        At least my sense of humor remains intact, I guess…🙂

      • Yes, your unique and fantastic sense of humor is intact.😆
        I’m getting in the metal age due to various factors. That is to put a long story short. You know all about it, stress, too much work, too little time…
        At the moment I have posted something about rock… it was a great thing to go again through all this music …😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        I used to work in banking. I was in many branches and that job stress me too much. So much that while working I used to see points wherever I looked at.
        It was probably the panty that pressed around the head too much… The shotgun also limited my mobility. But what bugged me most were the promotions. Sometimes came out of there with three pans instead of money. At the end I had to leave it.
        Hopefully this is not your case!

      • Dugutigui says:

        Hahahahahahahah!!!!
        I’m checking you blog…🙂

      • 🙂 I’ve left a boss for another… in Romanian we say: “you get rid of the devil, but you might find his mother”…😆
        I know what you are talking about because I’ve lived something similar to what you described. My job is much better now, so the decisions I’ve made were correct, the stress level lower, but you know it also, not all have the chance to work in stress free environment. Wherever we are there are negative aspects and one must learn to cope with them. All has a price in life.

      • Dugutigui says:

        All has a price in life. Yes.
        If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I’d have 50 cents. That’s assuming drag queens are half price🙂
        BTW I never was a bank rob. I was just joking🙂

      • Keep on joking , you’re good at it…😀
        It’s not important what you worked, nobody had the dream job from the first try.
        Now, probably the devil’s mother is the best drag queen ever, and I’m sure you met her even several times…😆
        Bank rob? Hmmmm, I’m sure they also do positive things there… for example they keep safe the fortune you made by saving the 50 cents all the time…😆😆

      • Dugutigui says:

        Touche!!!
        Hahahaha! You great🙂
        Hahahaha!

      • No, no, I’m not… YOU are the master of the most intriguing posts and comments…😆😆😆

      • Thank you for this lovely conversation tonight, D., I am honored whenever you answer my comments or stop by to write your thoughts.😀

      • Dugutigui says:

        You don’t need to thank me for that. My pleasure🙂

  2. I enjoy your thoughts. Glad you enjoyed your vacation!

    • Dugutigui says:

      If you only read the thoughts that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.
      BTW: It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it — Aristotle🙂

  3. Great to hear from you again!!

  4. Fay Moore says:

    How’s my metal man? Good analogy. Cute.

    And with the strange things you describe in India — and your reaction to them– what kept you there 3 months? Most folks who extend a stay do so because they are enamored with the place. I didn’t hear that in your description. So what reeled you in? Work? Play? Women with six breasts?

    • Dugutigui says:

      The truth is I’ve been in Argentina all the time. Last time I was in India was some ten years ago…
      Confucius said that if you choose a job you love, you will never have to work a day in your life. He was wronger than wrong!
      I’ve been working as an animal in the job I use to love, so much that I’m starting to hate it In any case I have vacations next month…
      Nice to see you around.

  5. ghdflghkdfs says:

    Great site you have here.. It’s hard to find excellent writing like yours nowadays. I really appreciate people like you! Take care!!

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