yesterday i was urinating – (en)

Yesterday I was urinating… as I’m doing everyday. 
The action: at a shopping center utility, here in San Luis. Frankly a lengthy operation, kinda hotly and endless … Aaahhhhhh!   And man, what a gushing  joy! -after a long and eventful car journey.  Gushsssssss! Aaahhhhhh!
Nothing to call home, but enough for a post.
I was a little off the latrine, which would make visible my parts to a potentially interested observer if being located on either side. No soul there… So I kept enjoying that little liquid pleasure of life. Aaahhhhhh! … Suddenly the door creaked, clear sign that someone was coming in -spoiled I made a clucking sound- and instinctively got closer to the urinal getting myself between the side guards that prevent prying eyes.
While moving a thought of those crossed my head. Those which, at first glance, always seem puzzling to me. They were actually a series of rapid judgments that could be summarized as follows: Who the hell got to say that we have to hide our family jewelry?
To my way of thinking (at least at that rebellious lapse) the use of clothing is like trying to decorate a bouquet of roses. Superfluous, unless some of you think that a bunch of lovely roses can improve with streamers and colored Christmas balls. On the other hand, I do not think we need clothes for living. Animals do not use them, and I don’t see them doing that bad. All animals look comfortable naked. And if grizzly bears can survive the winter without a skullcap, a military parka and four Timberland, probably hairy and obese types could survive as well. Yes, probably the rest of us are going to croak, but hey, that’s evolution.
Furthermore, imagine for a moment -and if you tired I’ll do it for you, that we were born with a Jay Kos suit on us, Macarthur floral woven tie included. No dry cleaning would fix it and it’ll be a quite complicated delivery. First the tie especially… But, on the other hand, if we walk naked down the neighborhood we risk being arrested for “disorderly conduct”. Well, following that line why not arresting babies at birth?
And what about the Dog Couture? What did these poor pets to deserve owners so so super-tacky flashy? And the lion that looks askance at those Colonel Bleach in its Ralph Lauren’s red khaki-cargo-pants with socking white socks, wouldn’t it be realizing that as a species we are doomed to unavoidable extinction? What an asshole, shaking his mane, it would roar to itself.
In truth clothing is inefficient. The time each morning people lost staring at the mirror, at least good fifteen minutes, wondering what to wear today. Really I can’t see the point. We could save plenty time if it’d be socially acceptable to roll out of bed in balls and get out to work.
Squeezing my brain in that place where it was originally so happy, the toilet, I top off that there are few legitimate reasons for wearing clothes. There is only one scenario that makes sense: The pockets. The pockets are useful for carrying cell phones, keys, jimmy-hats and concealed weapons, but at the same time, a little gaybag or something may be a suitable alternative.
In short, I decided to separate myself from the urinal a good meter. Splashsssss all around. The newcomer seemed to change his mind and left hurriedly the toilette.
He wasn’t the only one after all. Leaving the utility with my thing properly stored, zipped, I watched that guy speaking to the ear of a security, and pointing at me. Ouch! SonOfTheGreatBritain!
Phew! I had to leave the mall quite in a hurry, running across the parking lot and jumping into the car. The engine went vroom and the tires schreeched as I speed out in the middle of a symphony of whistles.
This world is screwed.
.
Yesterday I was urinating – Dugutigui

About Dugutigui

In the “Diula” language in Mali, the term « dugutigui » (chief of the village), literally translated, means: «owner of the village»; «dugu» means village and «tigui», owner. Probably the term is the result of the contraction of «dugu kuntigui» (literally: chief of the village).
This entry was posted in English, Humor, Politically Incorrect Language, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to yesterday i was urinating – (en)

  1. 🙂 the words of a rebel. I really loved your story. You are right, why do we need clothes (very expensive clothes even)? The answer is a little word that is quite a big aspect: people need clothes more for their EGO than for the cold or pockets.
    Yes, animals are great. Even though they have genuine love and feelings and feel even jealousy, they don’t have the ego of a human…That’s why they are so much better then us…

    • Dugutigui says:

      It is just funky writing… that is all… to put a bit of fun in our lives… I’m sure in the future some newer post won’t be to your liking, but please take it like it is… funky…

      But animals are not better or worse than us just a bit different… some cases… on other hand the future of mankind is machine, and I can’t see a machine with a suit…🙂
      Thanks for commeting!

      • Please excuse me if it sounded like I did not like the style or criticizing it… On the contrary. Your post made me – as a reader- think of life aspects and have an opinion. That is what makes good writing. Funky or not I enjoyed reading.🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        That’s it… If what you are saying is like that and not only flatter… this is exactly what I pretend… for people to think… an activity usually relegated… to question everything in a time that we pass by here as voluntary autistics and believe almost all they tell to us… but without acrimony and spiced with humor, at least that’s what I try…

      • Well, I am not just flattering you, I am telling the truth. And you don’t only try, you succeed. I have no reasons to lie, there is nothing to win in stake, there’s only some thinking to be done or some eyes to be opened. Does it matter if it’s 1 person or 10 persons that start thinking about life after reading your posts?
        I am trying to do the same thing. You want people to THINK. I want people to FEEL.🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        A task as important as mine… and you are succeeding at that… and I am not flattering you🙂 a perfect combination: thinking and feeling, not contradictory, but complementary… great!

      • Thinking has betrayed me on the way,but feeling never.
        Thank you D. 🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        Just the opposite in my case🙂 but still there…

      • What does not kill you, makes you stronger….🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        Oui! but… When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you…

      • Oho, you open another huge subject… Do you have all night to discuss it?🙂🙂🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        No I haven’t, I have to take my daughter to school in 7 hours…🙂 and on other hand I don’t want to have nightmares tonight… but I promise we will come back on it any time soon, when I feel ready…

      • 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 you are fantastic !!!🙂🙂🙂

      • Dugutigui says:

        In fact both quotes belong to the same person:
        “If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you”
        and
        “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”
        Friedrich Nietzsche

        And I like also from him:
        “A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends”
        Good night!

      • ja, es stimmt/yes, it’s true.
        But , you know, there is a black joke:
        ~ Nietzsche said: “God is dead”.
        God said: “Nietzsche is dead”~

      • Dugutigui says:

        Good one. I’m sure he would enjoy it🙂
        But what he really said, among many interesting things, was:
        “After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands”
        Hahahahahaha…

      • He compared himself with the religious man and unconsciously felt so dirty??????🙂🙂🙂
        I only know one thing: cynicism and feelings have not much in common. A cynical person lives and dies bitter, a loving person experiences something more. Different points of view. But both interesting…

  2. Hahaha, I vote for clothes, but when you’ve gotta pee, you’ve gotta pee!

  3. PerceivingJocie says:

    I’ve heard a number of people argue that clothes are unnecessary. A beautiful song by Ricardo Arjona says so. I find it suitable more in a romantic sense. I think many people find clothes as a way of identifying themselves and who they are. At the same time, if we all walked around naked I feel it’d take away the intrigue of getting to know a person and know the most intimate aspects of them.
    If you think about it, when you’ve seen someone naked you have partially seen a part of them that not many others have likely seen. They are sharing a special part of them with you, but if everyone walked around in their birthday suits as their attire that aspect would be gone.
    And yes animals are naked, and they are smart and have feelings, but, in most cases, are brain is much more developed than animals and aware of the necessity of clothes.
    One last thing, and sorry for the lengthy comment, is that – and these are my beliefs- in the beginning man and woman walked around naked and found no shame in that, but because of their actions that changed.
    Perhaps, were it not for that occurrence we’d all be walking around naked and not even think twice about it, but for whatever reason it did not happen like that.

    • Dugutigui says:

      Edgar Ricardo Arjona Morales, nice you know him…🙂
      But if we are speaking about intrigue, then a Muslim woman with full khimar and niqab should be an inscrutable mistery… and she is not for me… and on other hand people making love with clothes on seem ridiculous… so I don’t see exactly the point…
      Never mind, this is not a matter of beliefs, just funky writing… so please do not mind me and come back soon!

      • PerceivingJocie says:

        Haha, I will admit I enjoy picking on you and the things you write of, thank you so much for your kind replies back to me and the way you do not take things personally or as insult. It is very refreshing to be able to speak my thoughts without someone taking insult to them.

      • Dugutigui says:

        Well, you know, I’m too old and too worked to take things personally… In fact I am more interested in the style, writing stile, that on the merits… at the end of the day my only interest, if any, is not that people agreed with me, but just for them to find out in a sassy way that everything is questionable, and nothing can be taken for granted… and after that everyone could continue with his own ideas… not better or worse than mine…🙂
        Paraphrasing the post “the torero told to the philosopher, there are people for all kind of bloody shit”

  4. heartmama says:

    LOL You have a very interesting view on the world. Thanks for visiting my blog. I enjoyed visiting yours.🙂

    http://www.DearToMe.net

    • Dugutigui says:

      Well, thanks. But what I would like to outline here is a blog post of yours titled: “Well If A Man Can Do It, It Can not Be That Difficult” a post I recommend to several pussies coming around, not only ladies!
      As I commented there:
      As a man a little or almost nothing hypocrite, but hey, quite cynical, could not agree more with your statements …
      Not that I want to defend men, a completely lost case, but what is left of rational in modern woman … who has gone like lightning from corner end to the opposite one -literarily speaking, thus taking a genuinely sexist man’s way, when balance, this supposedly true in women, is often found in the midtones …
      In other word, and sorry for my French: In the same way we have sonofabiches, we have biches, and even being hard to find rational people of sound mind, they exist in both sexes… or at least they should…
      Intelligent post of a sound woman mind, from my POV!

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